IS THERE LONG-TERM POTENTIAL HERE?

Q: I want to know if you see long term relationship potential between my boyfriend's chart and mine. I think so but he's sooo afraid of committment after a horrid divorce. (His x has borderline personality disorder.. and it's a whopper) His last divorce cost him over $300,000 and he says he'll never marry again.

A: You are a strong Virgo, with the Sun conjunct Jupiter both in Virgo in the sixth house which rules Virgo. Both the sixth house and Virgo are associated with a desire to serve and to be helpful to others as well as a need to have a relatively safe and secure life with an established routine. Pluto is also in the sixth house, though, which shows that you are rarely able to achieve that sense of safety. Still, you continue to seek that stability and you tend to find it through helping others to find that stability within themselves.

Mars is rising in your chart which makes it a very important influence; Mars is in Pisces which is also your rising sign. Where Virgo seeks to establish routine and safety, Pisces tends to dissolve those routines and desire a life without boundaries. These two influences aren't always easy to bring together but that is your quest! With Mars in Pisces you may often have difficulty asserting your will and getting your needs met. That ability to meet your needs is crucial to your emotional safety with your Moon in Aries; yet you long to care for the loved ones in your life with your Venus in Cancer.

Your boyfriend is a Scorpio as you know, and he has four planets in Scorpio altogether including Mercury, Venus and Saturn. This as you know gives him a very intense nature, and because three of those planets are in the twelfth house he is even more private than most Scorpios would be. The Sun in the twelfth house is often extremely sensitive psychically and for this reason he likely needs a lot of alone time to be able to disengage from the world around him.

Saturn conjuncts Venus in his chart which shows that he has a deep insecurity about his value in the world. Saturn also opposes his Moon which could mean that his mother was very cold to him and he did not feel nurtured by her. Perhaps he is afraid to open up and trust on an emotional level as a result. With his Moon in the sixth house he too has a need to be helpful to those around him, but I suspect that his own emotional needs with four Scorpio planets rather overwhelms him so he is unable to detach from them in order to be of help to others.

There are quite a few compatibilities between your charts: Venus in both of your charts are in water signs showing that you connect well emotionally. Your Mercurys are also compatible and there are positive aspects from other planets as well, indicating that you communicate well with each other and have an innate understanding. But like all relationships there are some difficulties as well. His Uranus is square to your Moon, showing that he is unpredictable and being with him is exciting for you but there is also some insecurity there. It also appears that you seek commitment to a greater extent than he does since your Saturn (commitment is square to his Uranus (freedom).

It also appears that you put a lot of pressure on him for healing and change, with your Chiron in square to his Moon/Venus/Saturn combination. This can be a powerful influence on him if he is prepared to face his own painful wounds but if he is not, he will perceive you as being the one wielding the blows. In addition, Pluto in your chart is square to his Sun and he may feel that you have all of the power in the relationship.

The past year has been a difficult one for him as transiting Saturn made a difficult aspect to the Moon/Venus/Saturn combination. That cycle is not yet complete and his Sun and rising sign are now being affected by the double influence of Saturn's restrictions and Jupiter's expansion. I have no doubt that this is a confusing time for him and for the next couple of months you will be on a bit of a roller coaster.

It's hard to predict the future, but I would encourage you if things get difficult to ask yourself whether your needs are being met. This for you is the crucial question.