SURVIVING DIFFICULT TIMES

Q: I have been going through a tough time, lots of changes and adversity since March 2004. Loss of my job, having to go back to college in mid-life, being stalked. Things seem to be going better since the beginning of July (new job). Am I going to be alright now, or is this just a quiet time before it hits again?

A:You have indeed been going through a rough patch. In order to understand what the past few years have been about we need to take a look at the makeup of your astrological chart which describes the issues that you carry with you so that they can be resolved during your lifetime. You were born in the
height of the cultural revolution of the 1960s, and you carry that imprint within you in the form of the conjunction of Uranus (radical change) to Pluto (transformation) that took place the year that you were born. This is a generational thing - everyone born between 1963 and 1968 has this dynamic
in their chart.

What makes yours more unique is that the conjunction of Uranus and Pluto also conjuncts your Moon which is in Virgo, This combination normally creates a fair amount of disturbance in the psyche, and often a tendency to draw a certain amount of violence into your life. I don't mean to say that
you choose to attract violence, but simply that you may magnetize it into your life in order to face your own darker instincts (as represented by Pluto). This is not comfortable with your Virgo Moon which prefers to categorize your emotions into nicely manageable compartments but ultimately,
the combination of Pluto with your Moon will bring you great emotional strength once you have faced and conquered your fears.

The difficulties you have been going through are mainly due to a long cycle of Pluto hitting sensitive points in your chart. You are not yet out of that cycle, but understanding the nature of Pluto will help you to navigate this period more successfully. Pluto is drawing out of you all of that which you keep hidden from yourself in order to fully integrate all aspects of your personality so that you can become more whole. Pluto cycles are very good times for psychotherapy, since they often dredge up old secrets that one would have thought were long gone. During a major Pluto transit such as the one you are going through it's very useful to cultivate a relationship with your inner guidance or deity. I view Pluto as being the will of the higher self, and it will be essential to cultivate a deep faith that what is happening is truly for your highest good.

The Uranus/Pluto/Moon complex forms an opposition (180 degrees) to another conjunction of Saturn to Chiron right on your Midheaven. In English, this means that the principle of discipline, hard work and disappointment (Saturn) combines with the principle of healing our old wounds (Chiron) which keeps you from being able to hide from yourself and any painful places that remain in your psyche. The combination of Saturn and Chiron usually indicates a person who is on a healing journey, and as you face your pain and your fears you are able to re-integrate them back into your being in order to become more whole. The fact that this Saturn/Chiron dynamic falls on your Midheaven, the cusp of the 10th house of career and public life, tells us that this dynamic is likely to be prominent in your life and
perhaps affect your life's work. This is an excellent placement for someone who does healing work, but usually not until you have done quite a bit of this work yourself.

These dynamics have been deeply affected by transiting Pluto since 2002 when Pluto in the sky made a square to the Uranus/Pluto conjunction in your chart. This is a generational dynamic but it began the wheels turning in this whole complex in your chart. Pluto transits bring us face to face with our fears and usually bring actual events that force us to realize that in some matters we have little control. The good news is that when we look back on Pluto events we find that they brought tremendous transformation and positive changes. This process would have become much more personal back in
January 2004 when Pluto squared your Moon, your emotional security point. The Pluto/Moon cycle ended back in September 2005 but this was just the first part of the process.

Pluto hit Chiron in your chart back in January which began the cycle of transformation to the psychic wounds (Chiron) in your nature. This cycle will conclude at the end of this year, and then Pluto will hit Saturn and your midheaven. This can be a time of great empowerment as you shed your old skins and the butterfly emerges strong and true from the chrysalis. Pluto transits to the Midheaven often bring tremendous transformation but in order to become truly activated we must let go of many old ideas of
ourselves and how we want our lives to be.

You are also going through your "Uranus opposition" which is one of the midlife crisis transits. This is a time when we embrace change - in fact we seek it out. This will help you to break free of any entrenched patterns that are keeping you stuck. All of this will be uncomfortable for your Virgo Moon which is cautious and does not like change so it will be important to maintain the daily rituals that keep you grounded (Virgo loves these rituals of every day life). Throughout all of this Pluto is making a
trine to your Aries Venus, showing that your friends and community (Venus is in the 11th house of friendships and shared ideals) will be a great support to you during this time.

I know this is a difficult time, but recognizing the power of transformation that is available to you know will help to make it easier to navigate.

Q: i was wondering if you could help me. my life is absolutely obliterated. i was studying for my doctorate until last august, when i tested hiv+ and the trauma caused me to withdraw. i tried living in europe with hopes that i would gain citizenship so that i could have access to the universal health care. after one and one half years of being over there homeless, without money, without a place to stay permanently, and being betrayed by key friends abroad, i had to find my way back to the states.

now, i've destroyed my opportunity to complete my studies at the original place where i was studying. i cannot find work, i still have no place of my own to live, and soon i have to begin medical treatment. although hiv is no longer a death sentence, and there are programs to help me here in the states, i could sure use some guidance about what is happening to me! does it get better in the future? i feel depressed, have been alone for the last 4 years, and don't know what to do!

A: Thank you for writing - I'm sorry to hear of your difficulties but I am happy to tell you that the crisis period is really finished.

Here are a few things I see in your chart that might be useful: With your Sun in Pisces, you seek to flow in the direction that life takes you and you may be less self-directed in some ways. Pisces is a very spiritual sign as you know, and very creative and imaginative but not always the most practical. However, your Moon is in Capricorn which is extremely practical and hard working. Your Moon is in the sixth house, showing that although you long (Moon) for success and responsibility (Capricorn) you may tend to subjugate your needs to others since in the sixth house we like to be useful and of service to others. Cancer is rising in your chart, and the need to nurture those that you love is a strong part of your personality.

Capricorn can be somewhat pessimistic and negative, and with the Moon in Capricorn you may feel like you're not really good enough but Jupiter conjoins the Moon, adding its optimistic viewpoint. This gives you the ability to expand your view if you choose to, although it is always a struggle between those two dynamics. The Moon and Jupiter in the sixth house have an effect on your health as well and you are an excellent candidate for visualization and guided imagery to assist in your healing process. These two planets are conjunct the cusp of your seventh house (opposite the ascendant or rising sign so we call this point the "descendant"). Often we project the qualities of the planets that we find at this point, so this suggests that you may draw in the negative voice of the Moon/Capricorn from your partners. They may even vacillate between being generous (Jupiter) and withholding (Capricorn Moon) which may keep you off-balance. However, this dynamic is actually within your own personality.

Any time we have these conflicts within us the goal is to internalize and balance them in our own life. So you spend some time with the Capricorn negative voice that is always pushing you and balance that with Jupiter's optimism which will help you to make a detailed plan for how you will achieve success which is what Capricorn wants.

The conjunction of the Moon and Jupiter in your chart is squared by another conjunction of Chiron to Mercury. The combination of the wounded healer (Chiron) with your thought process (Mercury) indicates a painful insecurity (Chiron) about your ability to communicate and share your thoughts (Mercury). This conjunction falls in the tenth house of career, and I suspect that this causes you some fear about stepping out into the public arena even though you long to do so. Your Sun is conjunct the cusp of your tenth house of career (also called the Midheaven), which suggests that you have a real purpose to serve in the public eye. The square from Chiron to Mercury exacerbates the self-doubt that you feel, and the square from Mercury to the Moon shows that your thinking (Mercury) is very much tied in with your emotions (Moon).

This whole stew of ambition and self-doubt was challenged back in 2003 when Saturn crossed your ascendant (rising sign) which set off the whole configuration we've discussed above. Ascendant/descendant, Moon/Jupiter, Chiron/Mercury are all within 5 degrees of each other, so any planetary event that hits one planet affects the entire dynamic. This began back in July of 2003 and continued until June 2004.

At the same time, Pluto (the god of death and rebirth) was in square to your Sun and your Midheaven from February 2003 through September of 2005. The challenging transits of Pluto remove from our lives anything that no longer serves us. For me, Pluto represents the will of the Higher Self, and these transits require a great deal of surrender and faith that your Higher Self is overseeing everything in order to bring you further along in your evolutionary journey. Even when you are devastated and have lost everything, your guides and celestial teachers or gods are present and in charge. You are a strong and powerful individual: Saturn in your chart makes a nearly exact trine to Pluto, showing that you possess both discipline and strength (Saturn) as well as personal power. The Pisces part of you is not always connected to that inner resource of power, but if you work to become consciously aware of its presence you will be amazed at the strength you possess within yourself.

This has been a tremendously difficult period, but you will find that this was a major turning point in your life. Two powerful planets, Saturn and Pluto, made transits to all four angles (ascendant/descendant/midheaven and its opposite the nadir) which creates major life changes. Currently you have a great deal of positive planetary events: Chiron will be making harmonious transits to both Mercury and Saturn over the next month or two and to your ascendant as well, bringing its healing powers to work on your issues of how you see yourself (ascendant) relative to your relationships (descendant). In the spring and summer, Chiron will begin working on your relationships and your sense of your own value (Venus). A series of positive Saturn transits will help to give you the discipline to focus on your goals.

Setting clear intentions and affirming them daily will really help you along this path and keep yourself focused. Simple statements such as "In the presence of my health issues I focus clearly on my career path and achieve great success in my chosen field" will help you to keep from slipping into a negative spiral. There is a great deal of creative power available to you now and maintaining that clear vision will help you tap into it.