Each week I answer a reader question using their astrological chart. Because this service is designed to help as many people as possible, preference is given to questions which will have benefit and interest others. If you have a burning question you think others will share, please email me and it will be considered!
Jupiter has been transiting my seventh house since October 2017, I was expecting for a relationship to appear in my life. I was sure that just like Meghan Markle fell into Harry’s life, someone would fall into mine and vice versa. So I have been going to parties, pubs, weddings, meetings… any invitation I am saying yes (just like Jim Carrey in Yes Man movie), but nothing -besides drunk men- falls on my lap.
Jupiter is about to move to my 8th house and I am worried -frightened, indeed- that I will end up missing that experience in this life. I really want to marry and have a family of my own… but it looks like no matter what I do, no matter where I go… I end up the same. I am up to the point where I am tired and just want to curl in my bed… I hate loud places, I hate going to parties where I am stalked by married men, I hate going to the beach to be asked by kids half my age, but I am scared that if I don’t, I will be missing this opportunity.
What are your thoughts on this? what piece of advice/light could you give me on this? Are my expectations on Jupiter wrong or too high?
When I was single for about nine years after my divorce I too watched the passages of Jupiter to see when that perfect relationship would appear with, like you, no luck. But cheer up! Jupiter’s passage through the seventh house is not necessarily connected with finding that perfect relationship. Jupiter’s primary concern is growth and expansion, not the fulfillment of dreams, so this is the time to do exactly what you are doing – explore and learn more about what you need and want in all of your relationships and interactions with others.
The seventh house is traditionally the house of marriage, partnership, and known enemies. When planets go through the houses of our natal chart they sometimes trigger events or encourage situations to take place, so it’s normal to expect that Jupiter, the planet of good fortune and opportunity, to bring that opportunity into the realm of relationships when it goes through our seventh house.
All of us have dualities and dichotomies in our natal charts that create dissonance in our lives – the beauty of astrology is that it helps us to see what is going on beneath the surface so that we can weave the disparate threads together into a more effective life.
Your seventh house is somewhat complex – Libra, the sign of relationships, is on the cusp of the seventh house which bestows a strong drive to be in relationship with others. Mars, the planet of drive and desire, is also in Libra very close to the cusp of the seventh house , showing us that there is a strong drive (Mars) for partnership and harmony (Libra). Mars in Libra doesn’t care for drama or intensity – it yearns for that Libran balance and equanimity. Your Virgo Moon also doesn’t care for drama and chaos.
But there is a part of you that does seek an intense experience of relationship – your Venus is in Scorpio, the sign of intense emotions and a deep yearning for an absolute Truth – a soulmate experience, a connection of souls. Pluto, the (modern) ruler of Scorpio, is the modern ruler of your Venus and also lives in the seventh house so we have a “double whammy” connecting the power and deep dark magic of Scorpio to your Venus. Yet Mars, the traditional ruler of your Venus, is in peace-loving Libra. I suspect that there is a conflict here between a longing for the harmony of a happy marriage and a need to have something more – something deeper and more important.
You are a person who needs a fair amount of independence and freedom: Although your Sun is in the committed sign of Capricorn, it’s in the ninth house of travel and adventure, and Jupiter is in Sagittarius AND in the ninth house which is a triple whammy because Jupiter rules both Sagittarius and the ninth house (have I lost you yet? Hope not!). So the freedom-loving nature of Sagittarius is strong in your chart PLUS Aries is rising – you are happiest when in control of your own destiny.
For you, any relationship that lasts will require that you be able to have that deep soulmate connection AND the freedom to move about as you wish and pursue your own dreams and adventures without being tied down. That can take a while to find but it’s possible! I have this in my own marriage, as I have similar dynamics in my own chart. You could have any old relationship whenever you want one, but you want something real.
Juno, the asteroid of marriage, sits right on your ascendant and with so much activity in your seventh house it’s difficult for me to imagine that you will not have an important relationship come into your life at some point.
While there are techniques for predicting when a soulmate relationship will occur, they don’t really work. We can usually look back and see “oh THAT’S what was going on then” but it’s far more difficult to look forward and I will not attempt to predict when you will meet that certain someone. My advice to you is to take all of this into account and get clear about what it is that you’re looking for in a partner. Then take your time and find that person who will give you the closeness and intimacy that you desire along with the freedom you require.