Librans, of which I am one, are famous for not being able to make a decision. We easily see all sides of a situation, and in a discussion over a point we can convincingly argue for one perspective as well as another. In my house a conversation like this with my double Pisces husband, who dislikes taking a stand of any kind, is very common:
Me: What do you think about my doing X?
Rich: Well, you have always wanted to do it. Maybe you should do it.
Me: Yes but then all of these other things might happen.
Rich: Probably better not to do it.
Me: You don’t think I should do it? But I really want to.
You can guess how the rest of it goes. Pretty much the same until one of us gives up. ?
In my younger life I was tortured by the idea that there was a right decision and a wrong one for virtually everything, and if I made the wrong decision in the minefield of decisions to be made my life would explode before my very eyes. I know a lot of other people feel the same way which is why psychics and intuitive readers are in such demand. The problem is, nobody can make a decision for us or tell us what to do. We must come to the realization in our own hearts and souls.
In my astrological practice, people often come to me for a reading because they need or want to make a major life decision. Should I quit my job? Should I marry this person? Should I leave my spouse? Should I move to another location? Often we see a planetary cycle underlying these questions. Saturn (tests and challenges) or Pluto (destruction and regeneration) transit the Midheaven, the place where our outer world connects to the inner one and we begin to question whether our home life or career are satisfying. Or perhaps we lose our job or a parent dies and we feel we have become unmoored and a bit lost. Uranus (radical change and rebellion) transits Venus and we may crave something different in our love life.
Then there are the cycles that are common to everyone in which the flow of our lives is often interrupted and major decisions are required. The first Saturn return at age 28-30 in which we put aside the things of childhood and take on the mantle of adulthood. The “midlife crisis transits” beginning around age 37-40 with Pluto squaring natal Pluto, and concluding around age 40-42 with the Uranus opposition and the square of Neptune to Neptune in the natal chart. This planetary combo is intense (Pluto), confusing (Neptune) and potentially frustrating (Uranus) as we ride through the storms that force us to reimagine our lives in dramatically new ways. I could go on and on, but you get the idea.
Decisions are easier for some people than others. Someone with a strong Mars or lots of fire may not always make the correct decision, but they will make a decision confidently. Along with Libra, Pisces, Sagittarius and Gemini types will find it difficult to commit to a certain path.
As a decision counselor, which is often how I see my role, I can help the client by exploring the inner personality patterns which may be affected by the decision, and by explaining the energetic influence of the planetary cycle and how that is affecting the need for a decision, and assist with timing questions. But we all must come to their own realization and inner comfort in taking the next step when faced with a major life change.
I am now on the far side of my second Saturn return (the planetary cycle which propels us from adulthood into elderhood) and my closing Uranus square (in which we once again are asked whether the life we are living is authentic and true. This phase of life requires a new set of adjustments and reflections on our life’s purpose. When should we retire and can we afford to? Where is our satisfaction coming from, and can we sustain it? Are our relationships with our friends and family feeding our souls and if not how can we find that nourishment? The same questions, but from a different perspective. Time is running short. How do I want to spend it? What am I doing that is feeding my soul, and what is depleting my energy? To answer these questions I have had to make a big decision regarding my alternate career – when to exit the business world and spend the rest of my life in the astrological path that I love so dearly.
Two things I have learned over the years of struggling to make decisions and counseling others to do so:
- If we don’t know the answer to a question, it’s probably not time yet to make the decision. Perhaps more information is needed. Perhaps you just need more time to be convinced. Maybe four planets are in retrograde motion and all you can do is look backwards into the past and wonder. In any case, sometimes time is what is required.
- We are guided with great clarity from our own intuition. Call this your higher self, your guardian angel, your spirit guide, your gut feeling, or just a hunch – whatever you call your own inner voice, it is a very reliable source of information. Over and over people say “I knew I should have done X or Y, but I was afraid.” Or “I had a feeling that wouldn’t work out, but I couldn’t help myself.” The process of making mistakes is an important one, and I believe with all of my heart, mind and soul that even if we make a mistake we will end up on the right path. But learning to trust that inner voice is an important lesson that we all can benefit from.