Relationships Archives - Astrology readings and writings by Lynn Hayes

How to know what your Valentine wants, using astrology

This is just a fun article and is not intended to replace serious astrological analysis (synastry) in which the entire astrological chart is considered and compared to the loved one. ❤️

Introduction.

When you’re wondering what your Valentine is looking for, don’t bother looking at his or her Sun sign. When it comes to relationships it’s Mars, Venus and the Moon that rule. Look up your beloved’s chart here and see where these planets fall in their charts and you’ll get an idea of what they need in the relationship.

Venus in the birthchart reveals our relationship needs – how we express our affection, and how we would like to be treated by our partner. It also describes our aesthetic preferences and the type of art or furnishings we enjoy for our home.

Venus in water signs tends to desire emotional closeness and connection; in the air signs Venus wants to think and talk about the relationship. In fire signs Venus wants a bolder and more adventurous expression of love, and in earth we see a Venus who enjoys staying home and enjoying the fruits of their labors.

Mars shows our physical energy and drive, and describes the kinds of experiences that we desire. The sign that Mars falls in gives us a clue as to the needs of the sexual drive. When Mars is in fire signs, there is a need for excitement and pure sexual energy. In air, the brain becomes the major sex organ. Mars in water wants to feel connected and nurtured, and in earth Mars is more sensual and physical.

The Moon is the Inner Child – it identifies the types of emotional experiences we need to be secure and […]

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By Lynn Hayes|2023-01-27T11:18:14-05:00February 13th, 2023|Relationships|0 Comments

Balancing our individuality with intimacy in relationships

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This theme is coming up quite a bit these days in client consultations and is an experience many of us share: How do we integrate our personal needs into the need to compromise and give up some things in our relationships? In fact, this theme is built into the astrological chart on the ascendant/descendant axis that marks the cusp of the first house of personal identity and the seventh house of partnership. It’s been a long time since I saw a seesaw in a park (too dangerous?) but the balance point of a seesaw is the aim of all of the opposing astrological forces. Until we find that balance point we end up seesaw-ing from one end to the other.

Howard Sasportas and Liz Greene coined the term the “freedom/closeness” dilemma (source) to describe the conflict between the basic need to attach and feel safe with another human being and the need to differentiate the Self and become more comfortable as an autonomous individual. This is a process that begins in infancy but it can become distorted and corrupted in certain family situations. But really, those of us with this dynamic were born with a propensity towards this conflict, and this is evident in our birthcharts.

Certain signs and planetary placements crave closeness and security, and others indicate a push for greater autonomy and freedom. The water and earth signs tend to crave attachment and safety; the air and fire signs yearn for freedom and space. Neptune, Venus and the Moon are connectors – Mars, Uranus and Jupiter are detachers.

Often in this kind of chart we see an individual who may be completely unaware of their need for space, who longs for connection but who […]

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By Lynn Hayes|2021-10-08T13:51:53-04:00October 15th, 2021|Relationships|0 Comments

Live-in relationships and the sixth house

Every Friday I dig into the archives for something interesting to share with you. This post has been updated from an earlier article.

A great article from Jeffrey Kishner illustrates the flexibility of house rulership in the astrological world of symbols. It’s easy when we’re studying astrology to become rigid about certain things, like house rulers. For example, we tend to always put relationships in the seventh house of marriage and partnership. But relationships can fall under quite a few houses: casual romances in the fifth house, making a home together in the fourth, sexual intimacy and joint financial ventures in the eighth, creating a business together in the tenth, and developing a solid friendship in the eleventh.

But when we’re living with someone else, the mundane realities that we find in the sixth house come into play. As Jeff writes:

So much of a long-term relationship is the sharing of life on a day-to-day basis. The mundane, daily activities — grocery shopping, fixing up the house or apartment, taking the kids to soccer, reading the paper — are 6th house activities. They’re routine.

The routine can be comforting — it is often what draws people into relationships (e.g., “I want someone with whom I can share my bed every night”) — but it can also be stifling. Perhaps the question of whether an affair is “real” is whether this relationship can survive the 6th house experience. If you leave your boyfriend/husband for your lover and move in together, the habits might be different, but this is also when many of his flaws become apparent — those habits that annoy you.

The little details can be endearing, or they can drive you crazy.

Of course, you don’t have to live together […]

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By Lynn Hayes|2020-01-16T18:31:46-05:00January 17th, 2020|Life, Relationships|2 Comments

Why Miley Cyrus can’t settle down: An astrological view

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Miley Cyrus is an interesting character to me – born during the Uranus/Neptune conjunction of the early 1990s she is extremely talented and has been a star since the age of ten. By the age of 18 she was #13 on the Forbes celebrity list. But her very public scandals and relationship dramas make for an interesting astrological profile as you’ll see. She came out as “pansexual” at the age of 14 (Saturn opposition) and has been identified as straight AND gay as well as gender fluid.

After a series of relationships, Miley began dating Liam Hemsworth in 2009. Their on again/off again relationship led to a brief engagement, a breakup, marriage, followed by divorce this year. To be honest, this is the kind of story that made me want to start this blog – my curiosity about why people are the way they are.

The early 1990s were a time of spiritual explosion and political confusion under the influence of a conjunction of Uranus (radical change) and Neptune (spirituality and illusion). The Celestine Prophecy was published and New Age spirituality and delusion seeped into every aspect of the culture. Cults like the Branch Davidians, subject of a standoff with the FBI, emerged. The Heavens Gate cult committed mass suicide on their way to join a UFO. The first baby boomer president (Bill Clinton) and the first black president of South Africa (Nelson Mandela) were elected. JK Rowling started the Harry Potter books in 1992, and Ramtha, an entity channeled by JZ Knight, appeared on the scene and was championed by Shirley McLaine along with other celebrities, began a craze of channeled entities which included Seth, Abraham, Kryon and quite a few personages from the Pleiades.

In any event, Miley Cyrus is one of these incredibly creative beings […]

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By Lynn Hayes|2019-10-08T18:26:32-04:00October 8th, 2019|People, Relationships|3 Comments