Photo by Pierre LeClerc I have been AWOL from this blog for awhile, largely due to the illness of my mother who died this past Monday. With my Moon (emotion, mother, needs) conjunct Pluto (destruction and regeneration) it’s not surprising that she and I had a complex relationship. I hated her intensely, yet during her illness I found I loved her with a ferocity that shocked me.
After her husband died in 2000 she decided to move to North Carolina. Tis was bizarre because she and I were hardly in contact for about 30 years. I feel very blessed that over the past 11-1/2 years she and I were able to heal so much of the pain and reactivity that had marked our relationship. It took a great deal of effort on both of our parts but she worked hard to make changes and I worked hard to let go of resentment and anger.
I have reported in these pages that over the past few months the Uranus/Pluto square has been aspecting my natal Chiron exactly, opening up old wounds and forcing me to learn to release and grow. In addition, the intensification of my mother’s illness at the fall equinox coincided with the passage of my progressed Moon over my natal Saturn/Sun/Neptune conjunction. She was hospitalized when P Moon transited Saturn and died as P Moon transited Sun/Neptune, forming a type of New Moon and releasing the bonds of karma.
My mother’s funeral was December 21, 2012 and as my sister said, she would have enjoyed the idea that the end of the Mayan calendar was all about her. Because of the funeral I missed our community Winter Solstice celebration in which my friend Gary Phillips delivered a beautiful love song to the natural world, Beth Owl’s Daughter has reprinted it on her blog and I share it with you here.
Winter Solstice blessings everyone!
I am sorry for your loss Lynn. Peace to you, your mother, and your family.
My prayers are with you and your family at this time that you find peace and that your love for each other grows stronger.
My gosh, my Condolences and prayers are with you . … Peace and more Awakenings be with you and your family.
Dear Lynn,
I thank you for this honest post about the death of your mother. You and your sister & family have my sympathy.
Your message inspired me to share it with my cousin Maureen (Mo) who lost her mother and had her 58th birthday in the past 2 weeks. Mo was a devoted daughter who never received the affirmation she deserved from her mother. Her brother & I always felt there was an element of jealousy in the way my aunt (who was also my godmother) treated her only daughter. I forwarded your message along with the Solstice link to Mo & wanted to share it with you with the hope that it will comfort you in return.
“Dearest Mo,
I thought of you when I read about Lynn Hayes losing her mother this week. Our relationships with our mothers can be challenging and I know yours was as well as Lynn’s and mine. It is my belief that we have a contract with each of our parents before we reincarnate. We will not know the details of that contract until we die. However, I do believe the people we bump up against the most are our greatest teachers. Your mother dying in your arms is like a reverse Pieta. It brings you full circle from that moment when your mother cradled you as a newborn on that December morning not so long ago. Few of us are blessed with that opportunity. I pray the promise that this Winter Solstice has for each of us helps you move forward with hope and not look backward with regret.
You are a beautiful spirit, Maureen. I hope you know that all of us (including your parents) are grateful to have you in our lives.
Love & Peace,
B”
Prayers and love for this most difficult and expanding time. My Mother passed this year and there are similarities in the relationships. Smiled at the comment “the end of the Mayan calendar was all about here”. That fits. Much deep breathing and cleansing breaths. Take care of yourself. White and pink light around you.
Lynn, so sorry for your loss. The know the pain is intense regardless of the relationship you had with your mother. Knowing what we know as astrologers is not always easy, especially when we must try and stay positive knowing what we know. My mother passed many years ago while Pluto was conjunct my Ceres at 29 Scorpio and Jupiter at 0 Sag. She on the other hand had Sun Saturn conjunction in Capricorn opposite Jupiter Pluto in Cancer natally. She passed on the transiting Uranus/Neptune conjunction to her Sun/Saturn. You and your family are in my prayers.
Lynn, my condolences to you and your family and sorry for your loss.
My heart and prayers are with you, Lynn – I have a similar relationship with my mother, who is starting to lose her memory now, very quickly. I still struggle with emotions, yet I see that it’s good to reconcile as much as I can while I have the chance. I’m inspired by your article!
My condolences to you on your mother’s passing, but my joy for you at your receiving grace…
My condolences to you and your family and blessings on your mother’s passing onto the Summerlands.
Dear Lynn,
I send you and your family prayers of comfort…may your mother rest in the loving arms of the divine oneness.
And thank you for your openess and courageous heart!