relationships

Live-in relationships and the sixth house

sixth houseEvery Friday I dig into the archives for something interesting to share with you. This post has been updated from an earlier article.

A great article from Jeffrey Kishner illustrates the flexibility of house rulership in the astrological world of symbols.  It’s easy when we’re studying astrology to become rigid about certain things, like house rulers.  For example, we tend to always put relationships in the seventh house of marriage and partnership.  But relationships can fall under quite a few houses:  casual romances in the fifth house, making a home together in the fourth, sexual intimacy and joint financial ventures in the eighth, creating a business together in the tenth, and developing a solid friendship in the eleventh.

But when we’re living with someone else, the mundane realities that we find in the sixth house come into play.  As Jeff writes:

So much of a long-term relationship is the sharing of life on a day-to-day basis. The mundane, daily activities — grocery shopping, fixing up the house or apartment, taking the kids to soccer, reading the paper — are 6th house activities. They’re routine.

The routine can be comforting — it is often what draws people into relationships (e.g., “I want someone with whom I can share my bed every night”) — but it can also be stifling. Perhaps the question of whether an affair is “real” is whether this relationship can survive the 6th house experience. If you leave your boyfriend/husband for your lover and move in together, the habits might be different, but this is also when many of his flaws become apparent — those habits that annoy you.

The little details can be endearing, or they can drive you crazy.

Of course, you don’t have to live together […]

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By |2020-01-16T18:31:46-05:00January 17th, 2020|Life, Relationships|2 Comments

Astrological advice: When will Jupiter bring me my ideal relationship?

astrological adviceEach week I answer a reader question using their astrological chart.  Because this service is designed to help as many people as possible, preference is given to questions which will have benefit and interest others.  If you have a burning question you think others will share, please email me and it will be considered! 

Q:
Jupiter has been transiting my seventh house since October 2017, I was expecting for a relationship to appear in my life. I was sure that just like Meghan Markle fell into Harry’s life, someone would fall into mine and vice versa. So I have been going to parties, pubs, weddings, meetings… any invitation I am saying yes (just like Jim Carrey in Yes Man movie), but nothing -besides drunk men- falls on my lap.

Jupiter is about to move to my 8th house and I am worried -frightened, indeed- that I will end up missing that experience in this life. I really want to marry and have a family of my own… but it looks like  no matter what I do, no matter where I go… I end up the same. I am up to the point where I am tired and just want to curl in my bed… I hate loud places, I hate going to parties where I am stalked by married men, I hate going to the beach to be asked by kids half my age, but I am scared that if I don’t, I will be missing this opportunity.

What are your thoughts on this? what piece of advice/light could you give me on this? Are my expectations on Jupiter wrong or too high?

A:

When I was single for about nine years after my divorce I too watched the passages of […]

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By |2019-11-10T19:39:06-05:00August 30th, 2018|Advice, Relationships|4 Comments

Live-in relationships and the sixth house

sixth houseJeffrey Kishner has a great article up today that illustrates the flexibility of house rulership in the astrological world of symbols.  It’s easy when we’re studying astrology to become rigid about certain things, like house rulers.  For example, we tend to always put relationships in the seventh house of marriage and partnership.  But relationships can fall under quite a few houses:  casual romances in the fifth house, making a home together in the fourth, sexual intimacy and joint financial ventures in the eighth, creating a business together in the tenth, and developing a solid friendship in the eleventh.

But when we’re living with someone else, the mundane realities that we find in the sixth house come into play.  As Jeff writes:

So much of a long-term relationship is the sharing of life on a day-to-day basis. The mundane, daily activities — grocery shopping, fixing up the house or apartment, taking the kids to soccer, reading the paper — are 6th house activities. They’re routine.

The routine can be comforting — it is often what draws people into relationships (e.g., “I want someone with whom I can share my bed every night”) — but it can also be stifling. Perhaps the question of whether an affair is “real” is whether this relationship can survive the 6th house experience. If you leave your boyfriend/husband for your lover and move in together, the habits might be different, but this is also when many of his flaws become apparent — those habits that annoy you.

The little details can be endearing, or they can drive you crazy.

Of course, you don’t have to live together if you are in a long-term relationship, even if you’re married. There are couples who choose to stay in […]

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By |2019-11-10T19:39:08-05:00March 31st, 2009|Relationships|Comments Off on Live-in relationships and the sixth house

What is compatibility?

Mercury retrograde periods are a great time for reposting!  I’m taking a few days off for some other creative projects so meanwhile please enjoy some of my favorite articles from the past.
soulmate astrologyWe have been duped by Hollywood and our own sense of incompleteness into believing that somewhere there is one perfect person who is our “other half,” someone who is our perfect complement and will make us feel whole again.

This fantasy is problematic for several reasons. As any of us who have been in dysfunctional relationships knows, two incomplete people coming together do not form one perfect whole. The goal is to become complete in oneself, to learn and grow and evolve into a fully actualized being. In order for that to happen we often need certain experiences which will teach us and put us in touch with various aspects of ourselves. Some of us do this through our work, some through family, some through romantic relationships.

Compatibility is rarely a factor in attraction, because it doesn’t create that attractive spark. We are more likely to be attracted to mates who stimulate us because they are different, who open doorways into worlds that are new to us. Perfect compatibility is boring – it’s sitting on the sofa watching tv for the rest of our lives. Few of us are really looking for this kind of relationship.

The arena(s) in which we will do most of our soul growth is/are indicated in the natal astrological chart. A soulmate relationship generally begins with a feeling of fatedness and kinship, which signifies that there will be contact on a soul level. This does not necessarily mean that marriage and a lifetime of perfect harmony will follow, but rather than this relationship will […]

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By |2019-11-10T19:39:08-05:00January 23rd, 2009|Life, Relationships|Comments Off on What is compatibility?

Kate Hudson and Owen Wilson – off again

I really like these two together, and I can relate to Owen Wilson’s commitment conflicts and the despair over his failed relationships that put him in the hospital last summer after a failed suicide attempt. So I find myself following their saga with a great deal of interest and sadness. Recently the two had reconciled, and just last week Kate was spotted wearing an engagement ring, but new reports say that they have broken up once again.

Two short months ago, with reports of their reconciliation circulating, I wrote:

Last year when Owen attempted suicide transiting Saturn (the planet which tests us and creates limitations to challenge us and encourage us to become stronger) was in a stressful aspect to the Sun/Neptune conjunction in Owen’s chart. Saturn cycles often bring depression and show us our limitations and where we are not measuring up. Ideally this motivates us to work harder for change and growth, but sometimes it pushes people into despair as we saw with Owen at that time.

***

Kate has had her own challenging cycles, including a transit of Pluto (death and rebirth) over Venus in her chart (relationships) which witnessed the end of her marriage. She is now going through the famous “Saturn Return,” the time at age 28-30 when Saturn in the sky returns to its place in our birthchart and we are forced to accept the responsibilities of our life and move into adulthood. Kate’s Saturn Return began back in November and she is currently in the second phsae now. During the Saturn Return we often crave stability and commitment, and this can be one of the most productive times of our life […]

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By |2018-06-11T12:36:47-04:00May 16th, 2008|People, Relationships|Comments Off on Kate Hudson and Owen Wilson – off again
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