Image from Gaian Tarot

This is one of the questions astrologers are most frequently asked. We would all like to imagine that life is like a bus tour, with a preordained set of stops along the way. When do we arrive in Paris? When do we land in Cairo? We feel that if we only knew WHEN we would find our soulmate/ our true calling/ success in our business/ conceive a child then we could relax and stop worrying. Unfortunately, the journey of life does not unfold this way.

I was single for nearly ten years, and as an astrologer I looked for signs that I would soon find the “right” one. Jupiter, planet of abundance and possibilities, passing through my seventh house of partnership? No. Venus, goddess of love, making a trine to my Moon and bringing relationship to ease my lonely heart? No again. Neptune, bringing us face to face with our soul, passing over Venus in my chart to bring my true soulmate partnership? Nope, not this time. Though I wasn’t aware at the time, each of these planetary cycles brought with them a greater understanding and greater connection within me that was planting the seeds to enable me to find and recognize the partner that I met and married years later.

I believe and know at a cellular level that the Universe, or God, or Spirit listens to us when we say that we want to find the RIGHT partner — the partner that we will connect with at the soul level. Once we make that intention, we are being prepared to be able to receive and give love at the deepest level and not settle for a quick fix. Often we feel that we want a partner to complete us, but until we are connected with our own soul and self we will not be able to realize that deep soul connection with another.

I have seen with my clients, and in my own history, that if the soulmate relationship is elusive it usually indicates that the individual is still growing and evolving. The truth is, until we reach a point where we have become better integrated on a psychological level and more balanced spiritually, our relationships with others will reflect our own imbalance even if we have found our soul partner.

In the meantime, relationships are our best teachers. Many of us have been married more than once, but I would never call these “failed” marriages. I believe there are no failures or bad choices; merely lessons on the way to success. Even after we have found and married our soul partner we continue to face challenges that require us to expand our awareness and become more integrated within ourselves.

For this reason, astrology cannot predict when we will find our partner for the soul’s journey, but it can help to identify the places within us where we are out of balance so that we are better able to approach all of our relationships in a stronger and more complete way.

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